1) The amount of money you spend on hairspray exceeds your gas bill.
2) Your Pastor announces midweek services EVERY Sunday night.
3) You (or the ladies you know) can swim in a denim skirt and still have fun.
4) It takes longer to TAKE prayer requests than it does to pray for them.
5) The musicians at your church can tear it up, but none of them can read sheet music.
6) You have 50 pairs of church shoes.
7) You're adept at stopping runs in stockings with just about anything.
8) You consider Bible college "higher education."
9) Running the aisles and jumping up and down is your exercise.
10) You could be an Olympic volleyball player with all the practice from church functions.
11) The pastor says, "With this thought, I close," more than 3 times each service.
12) You have adequate respect for the power of flying hairpins.
13) Your feet have been stomped on at least 3 times during a service.
14) You judge a church service by swollen eyes, rumpled clothes, and disheveled hair.
15) When shopping for shirts, you always run it through the "Praise the Lord" test.
16) Sunday and Wednesday mean no cooking or no dishes.
17) You can always find hairpins on the floor after a good service.
18) Your day of rest (Sunday) includes 2 church services, choir practice, and Shoney's.
19) Growing up you baptize your cousins and siblings in "Jesus Name" several times in the swimming pool.
20) Your kids know how to eat anything crunchy quietly.
Post a Comment